Two years ago now I set out to create a business centered on self-care, and Inner Light was born. Up until then, wellness had been my side hustle as I worked in a variety of jobs with different entrepreneurs and in interior design. In my spare time, I was cooking plant-based meals, learning about the food system and nutrition, trying all the Goop trends (adaptogens, foam rollers, charcoal galore), and devouring every self-help and spirituality book I could get my hands on. I even started studying as a health coach but dropped out of the course – I was getting closer to my calling but I hadn’t quite found my place in the world of wellness. In fact, I have always struggled to find my place period, and suffered from low-self esteem, anxiety, and a mild case of orthorexia.
Fast forward to January 2017, I was sitting in an infrared sauna and the idea for Inner Light just came to me. Things flowed fast, and by May I had secured our space in my hometown of Darien. On Mother’s Day, the weekend before we began construction, I found out I was pregnant. Two weeks later, I found out I was having natural, spontaneous twins. This threw me, to say the least. I doubted my ability to handle this new business and my baby boys, but the universe has a way of giving you exactly what you need. I had worked with therapists in the past, but it was my work with a life coach who used color and numerology in her practice that carried me through this transformative time.
I knew leading up to giving birth that this would be the most transformational moment in my life, apart from my own birth, and I was right. Mack and Sawyer were born on December 29, 2017 and my life was forever changed. The transition into motherhood knocked me off my feet, as I struggled with recovering physically from my emergency c-section due to pre-eclampsia and the difficulty of raising two very colicky babies. I was fortunate enough to have a village of support, including our amazing grandparents, my incredibly involved husband, and our angel of a post-partum doula.
The first time I met with my lactation consultant, she was pleasantly surprised by how I scored on the post-partum depression and anxiety scale and even said “you are so zen for a new mom of twins!” Two weeks later, I took the quiz again and she suggested that I speak to someone for support, as my old anxiety began to rear its head.
I spoke to a friend of a friend who did something I hadn’t heard of, “motherhood coaching.” My sessions with her, where we talked over everything that was going on and she provided a shoulder to cry on, support and encouragement that helped me immensely as I navigated “matrescence.”
As I began to catch my breath and get my feet under me, I started to look around and recognize that the patterns and narratives surrounding motherhood in our culture reveal the truth that so many mothers are suffering. There is an epidemic of anxiety, stress, low self-esteem and negative self-talk in our stories around motherhood (hello #momfail #momguilt and movies called “Bad Moms”). What I have learned from studying wellness and self-growth modalities for years is that we can write a different story and create the reality of our dreams.
Ever since I had the boys, I have felt a calling to hold space and provide support for pregnant and new mothers through this incredible portal of entering motherhood. This fall, I began leading workshops in partnership with my friend Kristin Meek of WYLD Leadership, while becoming a practitioner of color coaching and working on my certification as an Ayurvedic Post-Partum Doula and one as a Lactation Counselor. Over the past few months I have grappled with how Inner Light and my passion for supporting motherhood could co-exist, and I often felt pulled in too many directions. Then it came to me – I had to integrate this calling to support mothers within Inner Light.
All of this has lead to this, and I am thrilled to announce the formation of The Studio at Inner Light. In addition to The Saunas and The Shop, The Studio will provide a space for women and mothers to connect, grow and heal with one-on-one coaching sessions, intimate workshops and special events. Here, I will draw upon what I have learned from my personal journey of motherhood, wellness, and self-discovery, as well as my ongoing education in all things post-partum, to provide support, love and guidance. Together, we will work to cultivate deeper gratitude and tap into joy in a way that will provide resiliency to the struggle and stress that is inherent in modern motherhood. More than anything, I am here to hold space, to listen to your stories with love, and offer you the medicine that you are the perfect mother, exactly as you are.
Thank you for being here for the journey as Inner Light evolves and grows, always with the core mission of being a space for healing in our community. If you are interested in learning more about these new offerings, send me an email here. Stay tuned for more about The Studio, when sessions will open up and workshops/event dates - the plan is to launch it all by the end of the month!